Do you lie to your SO?

Does your SO know everything about you?

Published on August 10, 2006 By Question of the Day In Marital Issues

My husband knows everything. No skeletons or dust bunnies in my closet. For me it's an indicator of the health of our relationship. Something's going wrong if I lie. It puts a wedge between us.

I'm using a broad definition of lies. To me withholding information is just a form of lying.

Still, I'm tempted to lie in really stupid ways. When I go shopping and I perceive that I have bought more than he would approve of I want to hide it from him. When I was a kid my mom hid things like this from my dad. She used to have me get the mail and hide the bills - I even did this after I had moved out of their house. Even though I know this is the source of my needing to hide things from my husband I still struggle with it.

How about you? Does your SO know everything about you? Do you purposely withold info?

Comments (Page 1)

Draginol

on Aug 11, 2006

Everything I say is a lie.

Except that.

And that.

Tova7

on Aug 11, 2006

My husband doesn't want to know everything. So I don't load him down with a bunch of unnecessary information.

He knows the milestones of my life, but frankly, JU knows more of the details. Heh.

So as far as the "past" goes, nope, he doesn't really care.

For the present, yeah I tell him pretty much everything. He's not interested in hearing about JU or any internet interaction. His interests are all about the real world. hah.

Does he tell me everything? I guess so. He doesn't talk business too much at home because he likes his family time to be about family.

I don't really want to know every single detail of his day. If he NEEDS to tell me, then that's fine.

After 19 years I know what he wants to hear about, what he considers important, and the rest is my business (unless of course he takes an interest.)

Caracarn1

on Aug 11, 2006

Only if she asks me which shoes I like better. Cause I never give a shit, so I just pick one.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 11, 2006

I think Tova hit the nail on the head with her response.

Keeping things from your spouse because it's just more crap for them to worry about and/or something that doesn't really affect them is a courtesy.

Who wants to be bombarded with insignificant details all the time?

I have lied to my spouse in the past, and I'm sure I will again, LOL, and I know my spouse lies to me from time to time. Such is life. We're truthful about the important stuff. Sometimes it's best not to know the whole truth and nothing but the truth when it's a petty detail that's just going to rub you the wrong way.

Moderateman

on Aug 11, 2006

There are parts of my long ago past that colleen need not know, she is a gentle soul and would run screaming into the night if I revealed some of my more darker past.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 11, 2006

No. Not ever, for any reason. He gets it all. If i cannot open myself entirely to my spouse, who's left?

Hehe. Well, I don't get my ass beat for failing to tell my husband something. If I were you I'd be on my toes about honesty, too. Hahahaha.

Adventure-Dude

on Aug 11, 2006

There are parts of my long ago past that colleen need not know, she is a gentle soul and would run screaming into the night if I revealed some of my more darker past.

I agree. There are things of my past that will only damage the relationship if I share. It IS best she doesn't know. Protecting her is more important than her knowing. I don't lie but I am deceptful at times. Not sure if that counts as lying?

Texas Wahine

on Aug 11, 2006

Just to clarify, she's referring to a mutually consensual BDSM relationship here, folks, not 'getting my ass beat' as in 'being abused.'

Oops. I just assumed everyone knew. Sorry about that. (They need a blushing smiley.)

Question of the Day

on Aug 11, 2006

Reply By: little-whipPosted: Friday, August 11, 2006No. Not ever, for any reason. He gets it all. If i cannot open myself entirely to my spouse, who's left?He doesn't always like what He hears, but He'd rather hear it than not.

Well said LW. Exactly what I meant. He many not always care but I tell him anyway. And I mostly don't get po'd when he doesn't care.

EmperorofIceCream

on Aug 11, 2006

for fucks sake

Dr Guy

on Aug 11, 2006

QOD, delete that spam!

As for me, I would if I could, but I cant so I wont.

N'est pas?

Question of the Day

on Aug 11, 2006

QOD, delete that spam!

Done!

Dr Guy

on Aug 11, 2006

Done!

Bless you!

M-Post

on Aug 11, 2006

It truly depends. I'm an open and honest man most all of the time, with anyone.. even those I meet on the street. I never put on a fake personality just to impress anyone or such.

I tell my girlfriend everything about me though... because really if she wants to be the one that loves me, she has to accept my past because that past is a part of me, and admitedly I've had some really bad parts to my past like most everyone has.

I place no blame on those who don't open up fully though, because every situation is different, and admitedly sometimes it's better to not say all than it is to say all....

frodo

on Aug 11, 2006

I am a spammer located at 207.210.234.135 which is in Atlanta Georgia. North East side.

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