When does Baptism really count?
Yesterday at the morning service I saw a man Baptised. It was done by full immersion. The pastor (in waders - which I thought looked pretty comical) covered the man's mouth and nose with a cloth and lowered him backwards down into the water until he was fully submurged and then lifted him back out again.
So, it got me thinking about whether I'm really baptized or not. You see, when I was in 8th grade...um...13 I went through confirmation classes at a Congregational Church. But it wasn't really my choice. It was my mother's. Don't ask me why. She wasn't even a member, but I was going to be confirmed and so I was. Part of the confirmation service was baptism. It was done by putting water on my forehead in the sign of the cross. The other kids who had already been baptized before (I assume as babies) were not baptized at confirmation. I get the impression from my memory that 8th grade was the age for confirmation. I can’t even remember if it really had anything to do with receiving Christ – I’m sure it did, but I don’t think I understood that at the time. Part of confirmation was also that we could now take part in communion – although the church had an open table policy it was not for children.
I truly feel now that I didn’t receive Christ into my life until some 18 months after this confirmation.
A few years after this the church stopped doing infant baptisms. They replaced it with a dedication service.
Now I’m questioning myself Am I really baptized? Do I need to be baptized now? What counts?
My biggest concern is that in not doing so now, I may be being held back from God in some way. Do I not receive the Holy Spirit? What would baptism do for me now?
And I’m also afraid of being totally submerged. I think it has something to do with feeling naked in the front of the church. There is some kind of suit of nylon that one puts on, but it’s not your own clothes. And then the water – other people have been it naked. I know it’s treated. I know that it’s not any different than a public swimming pool but still. These things bother me for some reason. In addition I think I’m afraid to trust someone like this – even the pastor.
And finally, I know that it should be a public profession, but I don’t want it to be public. It even seems strange to me, but it feels like it’s between me and God. It feels like standing on the street corner to me. Does that make any sense? I know that in the NT people were baptized in public, but it doesn’t make it any more comfortable for me.
Which comes first? HS or Baptism? Is it important?
So, in your opinion what should I do?
Believe that my original baptism counts?
Go through with the immersion?