Are you married?

Published on August 9, 2006 By Question of the Day In Personal Relationships

I'm married. Been married for three years now. This is my second. The first one didn't work out due to the usual financial issues. I said I'd never get divorced, but the guy lost it when his mom died and I came home one day to find $25k in cc debt. Surprise, Surprise!

How about you?

Comments (Page 2)

DJBandit

on Aug 10, 2006

I'm not legally married. Been with my childrens mother for 9 years now. Like Island_gurl's parents, we to will married simply to have the papers and to stop people from asking why we not married. Our relationship has not been the best, she cheated a few times during the first years, but for the sake of my children we decided to work it out and it is getting better. We, well, she has a long way to go, but I'm patient and as long as I see the effort I'm willing to keep on. I love her a lot and I love my kids and for them I'll do anything. But if things go wrong again, no more.

BTW, it's not that hard to remember our first kiss and day we began our ralationship, It was the same day as my 21st Birthday.

dharmagrl

on Aug 10, 2006

I resent the implication that those of us who have been married more than once didnt 'mean it' and bailed out due to 'not so good' times, and can almost hear the snotty, condescending, 'Im better than you' tone of voice you would utter something like this in.

I can hear it too.

The difference between you and me? I never would have married him in the first place.

Actually, I've always thought that the difference between the two of you is that LW doesn't think she's one of god's chosen people and she doesn't crow about how god rewards her for this and that and the other and how she's so holy and her family is holy. She doesn't put herself on a pedestal and gaze down on the rest of us sinners.

When you put yourself on a pedestal, KFC, you'd better be aware that there will always be someone waiting for an opportunity to push you off - and to rejoice in your falling. You may not think that you do this, but you do. All the time.

As far as I'm concerned, we're all sinners. ALL OF US.

Question of the Day

on Aug 10, 2006

you'd better be aware that there will always be someone waiting for an opportunity to push you off - and to rejoice in your falling.

No matter what someone thinks or says I'm hardly every happy when they have a fall.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 10, 2006

I've been married for 8.5 years and "with" my husband for 10, heh, and I'm only 27. We started early.

Adventure-Dude

on Aug 10, 2006

TW we be the same age. And I am only engaged

Texas Wahine

on Aug 10, 2006

Better get crackin', then. Babies don't make themselves! (I've got 2.5 to your 0!)

Question of the Day

on Aug 10, 2006

After my experiences with my first husband I find it difficult to accept the concept of "always and forever." Unfortunately people often change for the worse. And just as often they can't see it in themselves. I love my husband dearly and am committed to him but I'm not always convinced that we'll be together forever. There could be a mutual split at some time.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 10, 2006

I agree, Question.

Nothing is certain, really.

new-age nomad

on Aug 10, 2006

quit havin babies. The world have enough. Take care of the ones who need parents and STOP BEING FUCKING SELFISH!

Trinitie (2.5 babies...*rolls eyes*)

Adventure-Dude

on Aug 10, 2006

(I've got 2.5 to your 0!)

Oh do we have a bun in the oven as we speak?

Question of the Day

on Aug 10, 2006

I've got 2.5

Which half do you have? Seems to me that they both have their downfalls. Top half talks back and pukes! Bottom half stinks! Can I just borrow some cute little baby toes?

Texas Wahine

on Aug 10, 2006

Trinitie: When you grow up and take care of YOURSELF, you can lecture others on how to live their lives.

I know you think you're so witty and cute and that everyone else must think so too, but you come across as an immature brat. Grow up and be a woman.

dharmagrl

on Aug 10, 2006

No matter what someone thinks or says I'm hardly every happy when they have a fall

despite all appearances to the contrary, I am the same way. I will admit to having some twinges of satisfaction when it happens, though. Kind of a 'serves you right for being so stuck up' deal. Doesn't happen often, though.

Ditto. I don't think she's witty OR cute, and I haven't thought so in a long time. She never used to be like that...I dunno what happened to change her.

new-age nomad

on Aug 10, 2006

hmmm.... taken care of myself for quite some time now....

I think I'm extra cute. Dharma, you used to think I was cute? That's sweet!

Trinitie

stutefish

on Aug 10, 2006

Married, going on three years now. And yes, we do mean "forever".

I've observed two things about marriage.

One is that in every relationship, there are low times, and they pass. Some kinds of relationships--the best kinds, really--don't come about unless the people involved have comitted to going through the low times, rather than giving up.

The other is that people don't really change all that much. Sometimes the effects change, but that's superficial--the causes have been there all along. Some people really shouldn't be together, but diligent study of the prospective partner ahead of time can usually reveal an error of judgement long before the vows are made.

And yes, sometimes you can't tell in advance. Some people just make the mistake of getting married, and really should get divorced immediately. But this doesn't mean that "always and forever" isn't still the good and true course for most married couples, or that marriage shouldn't be taken seriously with all due diligence before entering into such a commitment.

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