all marriage is bullshit. I'm in love with a boy, and I intend to stay with him forever. If there was a piece of paper that told me I had to, however, I would not.

I don't want him staying with me out of obligation, either. He'll always be with me because he'll always love me.

And if not, I'm cool wit that too. (I've got some backups. )

Trinitie

p.s. What changed me? I got real. I'm sick of people who worship themselves and have children to make themselves feel like they have a purpose. I'm sick of people who write on this damn computer 2000 times a day and feel some sort success from top 10s and comments. Make real friends. Live a real life. Stop creating when there are starving children right under your nose. Stop saying you're poor because you have to buy your children second hand video games. Quit, for the love of God, staying with men who cheat on you. YOu have no authority. You have no power. You have nothing.

Trinitie: How other people live is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. What I do has NO EFFECT on you.

You seem very bitter and jealous.

Live a barren, lonely life. Feel like you are some different creature and that everyone else is stupid and you have all the answers. Fine, that's cool.

But while you're living your road-less-traveled life, STFU. No one wants to hear your imagined wisdom.

So Trin, you are never going to have a baby or get married? It should be interesting to see if that's really how your life plays out. I hope you stay on JU so we can see how your life turns out since you have it all figured out.

I don't want him staying with me out of obligation, either. He'll always be with me because he'll always love me. And if not, I'm cool wit that too. (I've got some backups. )

wow that's dedication. How long have you been with loverboy? A month or two?

So Trin, you are never going to have a baby or get married?

Loca--remember this is the same girl who chastised us all for kissing before marriage. I'm pretty sure she's changed her tune on that one, and suspect with time will change her tune on this one too.

I'm sick of people who

Well, since you decided to start the "I'm sick of people who", please let me chime in. I'm sick of people who think so highly of themselves and have so little concern for other people's feelings that they don't think twice before posting horrible, mean, spiteful things all the while thinking that they are cute and witty.

I'm not sure why you think you get the right to talk to people like that, but I find it laughable that you spent a year here telling us all about what a good Christian you are, and this is how you behave now--if you are the image of a "good Christian", I hope to never become one.

PS. Question--sorry I forgot to answer your question. No, I am not married, and I am not engaged.

PS. Question--sorry I forgot to answer your question. No, I am not married, and I am not engaged.

Ooops I forgot to answer too. I'm married for almost 13 years. We've been together for 17 years. Half of my life has been with him.

You seem very bitter and jealous.

Trinitie, why you hating on everyone? The fact that you say you are 'in' love shows that your view of love is based on a feeling. When the feeling goes away you move on. That is NOT definition of love. That's infatuation. Pure and simple. Are you so troubled with your life that the only pleasure you get is by tearing down others? What's your agenda here at JU?

Ooops I forgot to answer too. I'm married for almost 13 years. We've been together for 17 years. Half of my life has been with him.

tsk tsk you told your age.

tsk tsk you told your age.

oops - now my secrets out

I'm sick of people who worship themselves and have children to make themselves feel like they have a purpose. I'm sick of people who write on this damn computer 2000 times a day and feel some sort success from top 10s and comments. Make real friends. Live a real life. Stop creating when there are starving children right under your nose. Stop saying you're poor because you have to buy your children second hand video games. Quit, for the love of God, staying with men who cheat on you. YOu have no authority. You have no power. You have nothing.

I'm sick of silly little girls who have no real life experience at all thinking that they are wise or somehow enlightened and who go around telling all us 'normal' people that we're useless and powerless. I'm sick of teenagers who wouldn't know what love is if it bit then on the arse telling married people that their partnership is nothing but a piece of paper. I'm sick of you, Trin. Truly. You're not funny, you're not witty, and you're not even cute anymore.

YOU are the one who has nothing, not I.

Either grow up, or shut up.

I'm sick of silly little girls who have no real life experience at all thinking that they are wise or somehow enlightened and who go around telling all us 'normal' people that we're useless and powerless. I'm sick of teenagers who wouldn't know what love is if it bit then on the arse telling married people that their partnership is nothing but a piece of paper.

She almost seems to be a bot. Got all the pat answers, and no experience. I cant count the number of times I heard that crap about paper. But in only a few cases has it ever been born out to be true. The other 99% it failed.

Just a young guppie in a pond full of sharks. She has a lot of growing to do yet.

Married for ten years and change.

One is that in every relationship, there are low times, and they pass. Some kinds of relationships--the best kinds, really--don't come about unless the people involved have comitted to going through the low times, rather than giving up.

For me there's a difference here, maybe subtle, maybe too subtle to describe but I'm going to try. I'm committed to my husband, we've been through plenty of rough times without giving up. But, both of us deserve to be happy. If we're not happy together then I want us to be happy apart. I don't want his happiness to depend on me and I don't want my happiness to depend on him. I guess what I'm saying is that for me (for us) there's a difference between giving up and letting go. Sometimes it's just time to let go and move on.

The other is that people don't really change all that much.

Stutefish, that's a pretty univeral statement and I DON'T agree. I've changed a ton in the past ten years. I'm not the same person I was, and I think (hope) I'm better for it. And yes, my first husband changed a ton too. In a matter of six months he went from a financially responsible guy to a spend thrift. His mother died and he litterally lost it. I tried talking to him. I tried yelling at him. I tried marriage counseling. Nothing worked. He said he was "perfectly happy" with the way things were going. He definitely wasn't the same guy I married. What was I supposed to do? Commit to forever struggling to survive financially and wait for him to see the truth (that's if he ever could!).

But this doesn't mean that "always and forever" isn't still the good and true course for most married couples, or that marriage shouldn't be taken seriously with all due diligence before entering into such a commitment.

I agree.

The other is that people don't really change all that much.

Oh, I'm going to have to disagree with that too. I've changed a lot over the past 13 years, and so has my husband. Physically and mentally I'm not the same person I was 13 years ago. Events and time have changed me. For the better, for the most part.

I agree with LW; substance abuse and addiction will change people dramatically, and it's never for the better.

I know some serious discussion is going on, but I have to share this: Some students in my first class noticed today that I am a "Ms." instead of a "Mrs." Several said, "You aren't married????" They responded in such shock, that it was funny. When I said no, one of my girl students asked me, in a serious tone, "Don't you EVER want to get married??"

I really wanted to just crack up, but instead told her, "Maybe...maybe I'll get married someday."

So, obviously, the answer to the question is no, not married...but maybe someday.